Thursday, April 12, 2007

A classic recruiter email

Here is one of my favorite recruiter emails. After telling a recruiter in person - on the phone - and repeatedly and in no uncertain terms that I was looking for a position in Miami, Florida and only and exclusively in Miami proper, yes, in the city of Miami, not too far from downtown, not in Fort Lauderdale, not in Naples, not in Orlando, not anywhere in central Florida, no, no, no, really only in, after telling a recruiter all this I received the following email on the very next day:

"Dear Doctor (note the nice personal touch), I hope this finds you well. You are receiving this because you are on the mailing list for new and exciting Ob/Gyn jobs! Although we represent OVER 400 Ob/Gyn jobs NATIONWIDE!!! (So what? But you have none where I want it! - and what are all those 400 jobs going to do for me???) I wanted to let you know about an exciting new position in Northern Los Angeles County!! (Just what I was looking for, Miami is right next to LA, talk about "personalizing a search for you") Here are the details: Easy access to Los Angeles (I just hope the devil will tell these guys after they die "Hey, you have easy access to heaven! Hah!)~ OBGYN physician needed to join a solo practitioner. The salary is $180,000 and will include malpractice insurance, health insurance, and dental coverage. Call coverage will increase to 1:3 with the addition of the new OBGYN. Partnership is available. Option to be Independent Contractor if physician so desires. This is a great community for a practice (and so is every single place a recruiter will ever tell you about, did you notice that yet?). Our ("our"? Does he live there? - of course not) wide array of art galleries showcase solo and membership exhibits of photography, paintings and other works of art with weekly readings open to the public. We also are the home of an enormous poppy reserve established to protect California’s native wildflowers. (So, the location is remote enough to house the last surviving poppy flowers....need I say more?) The California poppy, California’s state flower, can be seen by the hundreds blanketing the lush green fields and is a truly breathtaking sight. A wide variety of activities are available for those people who enjoy sports and other outdoor recreational opportunities (and if you do not enjoy sports and outdoors activities, but enjoy listening to concerts, theater etc? Another hint that there is nothing, but nothing cultural going on in that town!). Try your luck at catching the big one on our placid lake, which is stocked every two weeks (Which is stocked every two weeks? Did I read that right? The lake does not even support fish – is it toxic or just too small?), or go for a round of golf at one of the area golf courses. We are also teeming with places for fine dinning and shopping for everything from designer clothes to fine antiques. (All this blabla is usually copied and pasted without any further thought from local tourism brochures. Yet, it may help you pinpoint the town by entering the info in Google. In this case it yields the town of Lancaster, Los Angeles County, a mere 75 miles or 1 hour and 30 minutes from Rodeo Drive or from LAX. A prime example that teaches you what recruiters call a “short drive to LA”). This position will fill QUICKLY, so do not hesitate to fax or email your CV immediately (Old sales trick to push you forward by creating fear of competition and loss, never, ever believe something like that!). As I mentioned we do represent over 400 Ob/Gyn jobs Nationwide, so if there are other areas of interest please do not hesitate to contact me. I can be reached 7 Days a week at 800-xxx-xxxx until 10 PM EST. I look forward to hearing from you. Bxxxxxm, Txxxxxxp, Consultant (they never represent themselves as”salesmen”, but use cute euphemistic terms such as "Manager", "senior vice president", "consultant", "representative", "client advocate" etc).

What an instructive email. So many lessons about what is wrong with recruiters in one single email...
Forget recruiters, click on this link to find more jobs than any recruiter will ever find!

Remember, the function of physician recruiters is to fill the less desirable jobs.

Behind every recruiter ad is an employer that has given up trying to fill a position using the standard means and now is ready to pay 20 K to have it filled.

Don't fall for recruiters! And, send me similar email or write me your "recruiter story".

Matthias Muenzer, MD .....Search the right way!


SSS said...

I Love this article. The best translation of a recruiters' mail.

Mona said...

i've seen so many of those type emails that it makes me vomit in my mouth each time one pop up in my email.